Friday, October 21, 2005

Can I just say though:

after Sunday and Wednesday night - I feel radically and permanently altered....

Take Me to Bed

I am TIRED. So tired. I went to bed at 5:00am this morning. I, in my 25 year old body, am not built to stay up that late.

I have had the craziest ride this week - Sundays experiance was more than trumped when the girls in my lounge group prayed for me on Wednesday, it is too precious to me to narrow down to words....then I went to work to pick up something yesterday, and my team leader tells me there's no work for me over Summer - so I have to find a new job!

Then last night some friends told us that a guy from church was playing at the Jet Set Lounge, so we went down to watch him. He was a revelation, I knew he was talented but he is SUPER talented. And totally beautiful. And probably interested in someone else, but I am a sucker for tall dark and handsome, which he is all of.


Must sleep, but must also write 2000 words on imagined community.

Kill me.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Slain in the Spirit

I'm so tense, NZ Idol is just being announced it is.....he's opening the's....Rosita!

Wow, the excitement.

Anyway I wanted to write yet again to gloat over what God is doing in me. I still can't get over how fantastic it is to be growing, I suddenly get (after 17 years as a Christian) what everyone was always talking about. Last night at church I was slain in the spirit (that phrase makes me giggle). That is, someone prayed for me and I fell down. It was cool! It's not like the first time or anything, but it was special because I felt that tangible physical presense in my body, and it was real. I so wanted something real. I guess with all the awesome stuff God is doing, I still feel like I am missing the intimacy. It was cool in many ways because it wasn't this random occurance, but an extension of the power of God evident in my life. Now, I am aware many of my readers are not what you might call raging pentecostals. The thought of a meeting where almost every person gets 'Slain in the Spirit' might not ring true with you, once upon a cynical time it certianly would not have sat well with me. But some things just are, they can't be explained, they are mysterious and, well, odd.

And last night, well, it was what it was, and then there was my friend. She undoubtably has an eating disorder, and spends most of her time buried in sadness or so it appears. But there she was, standing alone, arms open wide, eyes up, lost in something mysterious.

Go figure!

Now, its not all so simple as that, nope it never is. But somethings cannot be rationalised, cannot be explained, cannot be fully understood: "The secret things belong to the LORD our God" (here).

Thursday, October 13, 2005


I have FINALLY finished Genesis.

It is SO long.

Farewell friend, and on to Exodus.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Ah she's in the shower

So I am set loose on the laptop for a very short time. I am working, I am but I must also blog, so as to avoid the guilt trips imposed by those members of the blogging communty who like to hang on my every word.

What to write about. This week the brilliant O2 worship team is going to start learning my song. MY song. I am extremely and unfeasibly excited. Who would have thought, two years ago, that one of the coolest churches in christchurch, not to mention one of the biggest, would be doing one of MY songs. God is so unutterably good to me, it is manifestly unspeakable.

Last Wednesday I took our cell group (we take turns) and it was so cool. In my lounge group there are about 6-8 girls, and to a man we are talkers. We like to discuss. There is no floor hogging, you simply get talked over until you shut up. We all talk, we have varied and interesting points of view, and we don't like to take anything for granted. So, I used the first two commandments as a basis, and we conducted a discussion on WHY God spent two commandments on what appears to be the same thing. First, don't have other Gods, second don't have idols. We use these words fairly interchangeably in modern Christianity, but clearly God wouldn't repeat himself given that there are only 10 commandments. So we explored what the difference might be, and what application it might have in our lives. Then we spent some time individually looking at what those Gods and idols might be in our lives, and paired up. In pairs, we first prayed aloud to confess those Gods and idols, and then the other one prayed for us. It was great, really really great. I got to go with a cool girl who is really seriously struggling and she said that it was the first time in two years that something had got through to her. It was so awesome to be able to help her, listen to her, encourage her and support her.

She was so honest, telling me she wasn't ready to give up the God or the idols because she didnt' want to. She felt terribly helpless, but then we talked about how she could come to GOd with that, and ask him to change the way she felt. She was so excited, becuase finally here was something she felt she could actually do, in all honesty.

What I got out of it was the amazing work God has done in me. As she talked with such shame, I looked at my list of Gods and idols and I did not feel shame. Instead I felt excited about what God could do in me. I felt conviction, I recognised that God needed to change these things in me, but not shame. Man, that is such an enormous thing for me. I cannot believe these words come out of my mouth. He is so the God of the impossible. I was filled with such an excitement and joy about my life.

Argh, it's unexplainable.

She's back! I am caught.

Back to my assignment.

Monday, October 10, 2005

It has been a while

rather a while, but I have been inexcusably busy and Simona hogs the 'puter something chronic. No, she doesn't. That is a bald-face lie.

Oh no, now she wants it back. Stupid essays.

More to come.