Monday, March 02, 2009

Starting again, again.

I had yoga tonight and we were focussing on the principle of being in the present.  The teacher asked us just to accept things as they were in this particular moment.

It really struck me actually.  I'm starting out again, again, on my weightloss journey and so it seemed particularly relevant to me.  I am in the midst of a difficult emotional journey and so it seemed particularly relevant to me.  I'm at the start of training for my first half marathon (run), I'm in the midst of a new spiritual journey, I just finished my first year at work.

I lay on my mat, trying (unsuccessfully) not to fall asleep during the meditation, and I held in myself the moment I find myself in.  

I've failed at weightloss about a million times.
I'm sad and grieving.
I'm very tired physically and emotionally.
I'm proud of my progress at work.
I'm fitter than I've been in ages.
I'm writing the best poetry I've ever written and it might get published.
I'm growing and exited about God in new ways.
I'm bigger than I ever wanted to be.
I've got a lot of weight to loose.
I'm on new medication that might help me loose weight like normal.
I'm figuring out how to make life work every day.

There are great things and hard things and I lay there on my mat and for the first time in ages, I didn't judge myself.  I just accepted where I was.

Felt good.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The cup that is half full shows me that you are living a successful independant life. You have a Masters Degree with first class honours (whoever would know what colour a hood would be for that one) with a recommendation that you go on for your Ph.D, wherever your weight is you do half marathins with a view to running the next one. Your life is 'well pleasing to Christ.' I am glad you felt good by the end!
Mum xx