Oh yes, lost.
Well, I'm busy knitting an entrelac hat, and it's coming along nicely! Should finish it this weekend, so there'll be pics soon.
I had a totally insane week work wise, and I'm totally shattered. I'm in that precarious place between hope and despair at the moment - hope is so fragile and scary, and I am not very brave. But there's not much point without it, so I do what I can to be brave.
I have, for the first time in my 28 years, a double bed. It's crazy, the room in that thing! And my room finally looks like a grown-ups, rather than an over-grown child.
It's an interesting time for me at the moment, two good friends got engaged, lots of babies in my life. It's very exciting and joyful, but be lying if I didn't admit that it raises some questions for me.
I'm not old, obviously, despite the horrified look I got from an 11 year old recently when I told her I was turning 30 next year. There's plenty of time for marriage and babies. However, when your peers start that process and it's no-where in sight for you, there is a grief. I know that it might not ever happen for me, for whatever reason. Maybe those moments wont be for me. I am certain that whatever life I lead, it will be good and fulfilling and joy-full, but it might not have those joys. It scares me, and it hurts me. Part of me feels like I'm getting left behind.
I'm not moaning, honest, I know that I have lots of benefits that come with singleness (like spontaneous trips to Sydney, lots of shopping, no real need to be sensible with money) and I know I'll totally get over it. And I'm absolutely definitely happy for my friends.
But honestly, it's scary when life turns out different to how you thought it would.
