Grrrr

Yiss that's right. I had the most fascinating, brilliant and astonishing thing to blog about, and now it HAS COMPLETELY LEFT ME.

Hello!

I have been thinking about dying recently, although not in a morbid way. I had this moment the other day when I realised that one day my body would die, but I would live on. So perhaps there will be this moment when I realise that I'm dead. WEIRD. And what to do? Where to go? Will it be obvious? Will I know what I'm supposed to be? Or will it be like being born, and will I just get taken somewhere and given something to do?

Strange thoughts, they make me excited in a weird way.

I know, it's been a while

On Sunday I moved into my first flat, and a nice one it is too. My last while at home was framed by mixed feelings. I was excited about a new era in my life, and sad for the passing one. I felt such a connection to that time of life - living with my mum and dad. It was hard to leave, even though it was exciting and good too.

I struggled with my feelings in all the days leading up to my big move, but the day dawned well for me and I felt good from then on. Dad helped me move, and it was so lovely to spend that time with him. Plus, he is the Master Trailer Packer, and I managed to get all of my worldly accumulation onto one trailer miraculously.

I have by now managed to spread myself liberally around the flat, and it is beginning to feel like a home to me. It still feels like 'playing house', but I guess reality will sink in soon enough!

Also, Uni has started back, a new term and three new papers. They are all extremely interesting (to me) and usefully interrelated. I am VERY excited about the track my study is on, and feel hopeful about my future wherever it ends up going.

Thanks for checking back! I will hopefully be posting more regularly again, especially when I get my computer set up at home...

The Beginning

Well, I love Genesis. Even if Iain has to explain half of it to me. What is going on I do not know sometimes. Genesis is one big mystery - like those people who tell enough to appear open without actually revealing anything.

Nevertheless, I found something I really like. God promises Abram that he will give him more desendants than he can count. A bit further on, and before Abram and Sarai have any kids, poor wee slave woman Hagar is brought in on the act. Basically, they get her to sleep with Abram so that Sarai can have kids through her. (Cos in their estimation I suppose she's not really a person). Once she's pregnant she flaunts her new found power, and Sarai gets MAD. So she starts tormenting Hagar, and Hagar runs off.

But there is God, and he sends an angel out into the wilderness to find her. And when the angel does, he tells her that God has heard about her grief, and so she should call her son Ishmael because that means God Hears. And that Ishmael will be 'wild and free'. And THEN God tells Hagar that she will have more descendants than she can count. Now there it is, Hagar is brought into this situation by Abram and Sarai because they do not care, but GOD cares. So he makes her the same promise he makes Abram.

They say that after that Hagar called God The One Who Sees, because she said "I have seen the one who sees me".

I thought that whole story was so beautiful.

Dave Dobbyn

(Yiss he has a blog! how COOL is that. It's here. Also, and equally importantly, my older sister now has a blog, and I like it. It's here)

Church tonight, sung again - that makes it three. Yeah, worship team is not what I expected, but I'm trying to take it all in my stride. Sometimes church makes me wanter to loiter around on the fringes. But church can't just be a club, it has to be a community or there's no point. So we must (a) plunge in and get ourselves involved and (b) BE the change we want to see in the [church].

And now for the eternal perspective part of my ravellings. We believe that the world is not our home - we are just apassing through. What happens on earth, therefore, only really has value as it pertains or is important in heaven.

What I mean is this. I care about poverty, I want to do something with my life to make it better. Mostly and initially this has been about the poor - My heart has been broken for the poor and I feel an intense calling to do something to make their lives better. BUT I also care about poverty because I love the West. From an eternal perspective, poverty is in some sense more detrimental to the West than it is to to poor. The poor wont be held responsible for their poverty, it's not their fault. It is, however, by both commission and omission, a sin of the West. Thus, if poverty is to truly be eliminated, it is not the poor, or not ONLY to poor who must change - we must also change the West.

That is one example of the way that I think the modern church or the modern world lacks an eternal perspective. Do ya get it? Am I making sense here?

Te Whenua

I've decided not to blog about my prior points just yet, they need more cogitation.

I have, however, just spent the most fantastic weekend in Kaikoura ever. I'm sure Shannon will post heaps of photos, cos man she took a few.

We went up to see Dave Dobbyn. I hardly even want to blog about it because words don't do it justice, but I shall none the less. If you check my poetry ever you will see some poetry filter through about it I am sure.

The concert was fantastic - he takes you on such a journey. His voice is so different, so untamed and so passionate. His lyrics are straight from heaven, I am sure. Suffice to say Dave Dobbyn is my all time favorite.

The landscape. Mountains and mist. Sea and waves and .....sand and sky....seals....waterfalls...art deco houses and falling down baches...birds and shells and a starfish...wind in hair and songs in mouth...the land was poetry such as I will never write...the sunsets just for us...

outrageous design.