11:02pm

I should be in BED.

However, I am not. I am at Danielles using her computer. Simona is doing a Sudoku. With a pen. You can't do it with a pen. It's impossible.

You need a pencil.

Hear my latest:

Fall asleep and dream
Pretty, useless dreams
And wake up with His crown upon your head
His cross upon your back...

There's more, but undone as yet.

Can't figure out whether crown or cross should come first.

Harry Potter

This monday I woke up very late for Uni. Very late. I was extremely tired and so attired mineself in a pair of Warehouse TrackPants, Chucks, an Old Tee Shirt and... da dum....A Harry Potter Hoodie. (Several sizes to large).

Of to Uni I trot and therein I find myself remembering that this is a COMS class. People who take COMS aspire to News Anchor, Television Reporter and other highly visible careers. (Apart from a lowly few who want to hide themselves away in research positions.). Everyone wears makeup and label clothing.

I felt so extremely mortified by this sudden realisation. And it uncovered in me a deeper insecurity. I take so much esteem from clothes. I don't just wear nice clothes because I like them, but because I think that without them people wont like me. I always wear what I consider to be cool. Very rarely (if ever) do I allow myself a Harry Potter Hoodie Day. I think partly this is because I never get compliments unless I am wearing something new. People never say "you look nice" to me, they say "nice top" or something along those lines. Because I'm quite big size wise and pretty ordinary looking, I compensate by buying clothes all the time (except in my currently poverty stricken state).

Anyway, I was rather challenged by this realisation.

It was good for me to have to just be myself, minus my mask.

Living in Beverly Hills

Beverly Hills
That's where I want to be!

Oh not really, but what a rad song eh? Oh yeah.

Hmmmmm my classes are so INTERESTING.

Even the TESTS are interesting. And I know how SO MUCH about the Tongan Farming System that its just fantastic.

My favorite is Sustainable Developement. I love it. It's all so interesting. I have found my niche. And the BEST thing is that my lecturers are working doing the things I want to do. I will have a job one day! DOING sociology! In the Islands! Oh man, I am so excited.

Who knew, I certianly did not, that the Tongan farming system could be of such great interest to me.

Man. I am so happy right now, knowing there's this whole life stretched out in front of me, and perhaps I can make a difference in THIS world.


Mmmm carrying capacity. Treadmill production theories. Livelihood strategies. Don't they just fill your heart with glee?

I am glee-full.


PS Check out this out

So far so good

Have walked ALMOST everyday since we begun last week, can do 50 crunches without extreme agony, and now capable of almost two pushups.

Girl ones.

Obviously.

Postcolonial Identities

Sounds fascinating right?

What if your lecturer is incomprehensibly boring? BORING???? Oh my goodness, I just endured three hours of this woman.

HOW did she become a lecturer?

HOW????

I'm going to nominate her for lecturer of the year, and see if anyone notices the irony.

Unique

I am on the trail of good health.

Except for the pie I had for lunch, but that's only because it's the cheapest food at Uni and I had to pay a $25 library fine yesterday. (Damn those 3 hour loans).

I went for a half hour walk yesterday, at an extremely energetic pace. Plus I did 50 crunches and approximately one press up.

How long will it last?

Hopefully long enough for me to regain human form.

Julian Clary

Goodbye is hard.

I said goodbye this week to two people that I have come to love in a relatively short time. I think both will be coming back, but nevertheless, its hard to be saying goodbye. Maybe this has induced my current melancholy mood.

I miss Shannon.
I miss Adam.
I feel for Lara.
I worry about my friend.

I remember that this time two years ago my world was falling apart, and the stab of humiliation still hurts.

I wish it was 4:55 and I could go home.

I wish I blogged more, I wish I had a computer at home or room for one.

End of pity party.
(melancholy is so self conscious)