Thursday, February 23, 2012

Wednesday

Wednesday follows Monday and Tuesday which were busy busy and productive and happy.

Wednesday is different. Wednesday catches me out and turns me upside down. Wednesday is crying when people at work are kind and thoughtfully. Wednesday is finding a place outside to cry when I am overwhelmed with grief and confused by my feelings. Wednesday is wearing black and being glad I did. Wednesday is watching the memorial with the sound low. Wednesday is realizing that I am sad because I wasn't there. Wednesday is realizing that I will never be able to really be part of that world now because I wasn't there. Wednesday is weeping and knowing and then it's okay.

Wednesday is getting my work ducks in a row and taking leadership on an issue and feeling good. Wednesday is more ground hog conversations about work politics that depress me. Wednesday is thinking just forget it and get on with things.

Wednesday is getting two briefs back from management and having to do more work on both. Wednesday is being absolutely frustrated and helpless. Wednesday is being micromanaged and not trusted by the leadership. It's taking a deep breath and the taking it out in my boss who is sympathetic but unmoving.

Wednesday is looking at jobs.

Wednesday is coming home via summer hill where the beans are sprouting and it's so peaceful and exciting. Wednesday is cooking an easy dinner and making lunches. Wednesday is watching a new program I haven't decided about yet. Wednesday is going to bed miserable and waking up in pain. But that's Thursday.

2 comments:

Deb Robertson said...

I did wish you were here yesterday, but you will always be part of our story wherever you live.

Love you honey xxxxx

ElizabethB said...

It could be sad darling that you were not here but in fact we would not have been so well provided for if you had been here! God used you so clearly to supply us with water and food, which we did not have to suss out for ourselves!
Believe me dear Shaz YOU WERE HERE!!!! 278