I've not blogged much recently, busy with Uni, away from computers, sick. But my thoughts have been many and varied. The whole question about diversity has been on my mind, partly because of my Ethnicity paper, partly because of Amy's blog, partly because of my own personal struggles and thoughts. It is amazing that the world is full of completely unique people, no two the same.
Me and Amy have been talking about how much we compare ourselves to other people, and how that is always in a negative light. I wish I were thin, or more quiet or more serious...I look at people who are those things and hold them up for comparison with myself. The key step in life is to STOP doing this, and to accept that you differ from them in a myriad of visible and invisible ways. Amy and I are two very unique and different people with unique and different gifts. If I compare myself to her I feel crap about myself, and if she compares herself to me...well okay she probably feels fantastic but hey! You get what I am saying here.
Once I stop comparing myself to her (and so setting her up as an idol in my life) I can focus on who I am, and how God made me. The other end of the continuum is the same - that I see myself as right and everyone else as wrong. I am PASSIONATE about ending poverty, and some people just aren't. But I have to simultaneously accept myself as I am, and them as they are. It's great I care about those things, and its great they don't because then they are free to care about things I don't really consider. You see? It all fits together.
So, you can see that pride and low self esteem are two ends of the same continuum. It's all just not seeing ourselves as God sees us. When we can balance these two extremes, we are free. Free to live out our lives as God has called us to, and to enable and encourage others to live out theirs. Free to move into the better and deeper things God calls us too.