"Because it's like that time has been forgotten (which in a way is a good thing) but maybe I felt that my experience of that time has been forgotten and invalid."
Amy's post today really moved me. I am one of the lemmings. For so long I loved Opawa, I believed in Opawa, I worked and gave my heart to Opawa. My relationship with God crumbled and I never noticed until it was gone, because I never put anything above Opawa. Opawa was my world.
Such a state of affairs cannot last indefinitely, and there came a time when it was right for me to leave. That time was about two years ago, just before the winds of change began to sweep over Opawa. I think often if ONLY I had waited, just a short time. If only I had hung on, not given up, not escaped. All the years would have seen a harvest. As it is, Amy's words echo in my heart. My experience of that time has been forgotten and invalid, and my contribution to what Opawa is now has been obsoleted. I mean nothing at Opawa anymore. All the years when I was right there, up the front....working and praying and giving everything I had, and now all the new people don't even know my name. It's so painful, so strange, so surreal.
I am not sorry I left, I have found a new place, I know I am where God wants me, my relationship is restored, I am so happy with myself, I am FREE. I have discovered what Church can be like. I wish though, that I had stayed just a little longer, so I could have been part of the new Opawa, so I could have been part of the harvest.
As it is, I am so PROUD of Amy and all the others, who didn't flee like rats from a sinking ship. I am in awe. I am glad that Opawa is changing, I am glad that there is hope, even out of such brokeness. I remember well how awful it was when the others left, I am sorry I added to that awfulness. I wish Opawa, and all who dwell there, the very best of God's blessings.