I haven't been feeling fabulous lately, which is probably why my blogs have been such downers. ;-) Uni has been hard work, and because of that I hardly see my friends, and that makes me feel crap. But, the important work of learning to turn firstly to God has been greatly enhanced by this. When, at night, I feel low, I want to text my friends and get them to cheer me up. Often I do, but sometimes I think to myself, no. Here is an opportunity to turn to God first and let HIM cheer me up and comfort me. After all, if I say I love him first, I better practise it.
So, I have been working on prayer as conversation lately. What this means, for me, is that I spurn all jargon, and speak to God, outloud, as if he were right there sitting on my bed. Which, of course, I believe He is. This is quite a discipline. No more "I just pray", or "please just do this", because I would never talk to any person like that. I do pray like that mostly, because it serves its purpose. I am not against jargon, it's useful. But sometimes not allowing myself to fall back onto old ways of praying challenges me into better honesty.
And, quite frankly, it works. I did feel cheered up last night. Plus, I felt like I really prayed, with my mind as well as the rest of me. And I find that is not as easy as it sounds.
5 comments:
And the true intimacy this develops, I so much agree with you.
How often would we say to a friend , 'I cant do it so you just have to' no 'please' 'thank you' or 'would you mind' yet I hear folks saying that that is what they have TOLD God, I cringe at the thought.
I see it as getting passed the shopping list stage and into the experience I love of 'wasting time with God' good one Shazz.
I just really think that's really great.
:) Lynne
Nice shaz. After reading your blog yesterday, I took your grand old wise advice last nite. I couldn't sleep (shouldn't of had that latte last nite @ church!)... and had sum things on my mind.
Would have been easy to go to other things like you said to get my comfort or peace... but your blog came to my mind and I put on Delirious, lay on my bed with my laptop and read some psalms from The Message online! So turning to God first.
PS - I like your convesational prayer idea. It's more real, and personal like that.
Thanks Amy! Its good eh, I find it harder but better.
"So I gladly return to my loneliness, and rename it solitude"
And Lynne,
I just really want to thank you for your post, it just really touched me.
;-) hahahaha.
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